poop

I DON'T DO POOP!

Don't get me wrong--I'm not ridiculous--I can change a poopy diaper...as long as it's contained and I have PLENTY of wipes to keep me from making direct contact. But once it leaves the confines of the diaper--my gag reflex kicks into high gear. I don't know why. If I must, I can handle blood, vomit, urine, etc....but poop just gets to me.

So, a couple of days ago, I read a post from my friend's blog regarding a rather unpleasant poop experience she had with her twin girls. As I finished reading, I remember thinking how grateful I was that I wasn't her. "Man wouldn't that be awful?!"

As fate would have it, I am now the proud owner of a first hand answer to that question...yes, yes, and just to be clear...YES! My sweet little Eden slipped away while I was on the phone tonight, and decided to explore the exciting world of poop art.

She had obviously pooped a little in her panties...they were in the garbage. She was standing in my bathroom, pantiless. The toilet was full of poop and toilet paper, the toilet seat (every inch of it) was covered...then the walls, followed by the floor. She must of then decided that body art would be just as fun as finger painting, because it was everywhere...her tummy, arms, legs, feet, FACE...and, of course, her hands. Luckily, I caught her before she made it to her hair!

I threw her (almost literally) into the tub and told her not to move. She must of known by the look on my face that I was serious, because she didn't move a muscle. As I was cleaning...gagging...cleaning...gagging...Ammon was in his highchair, screaming. I washed my hands, ran into the kitchen, gave him a little fruit cup, and returned to my cleaning...gagging...cleaning. Then I cleaned the poop off Eden--and let me assure you, this was no easy task. That stuff was caked on! (More gagging.) Once she was clean, I rinsed out the tub, scoured it, went to rescue Ammon (who was now covered in a sticky smashed pear/juice concoction), threw him into the tub with Eden, and began to clean Eden's masterpiece while they played in the water.

At this point, I was grateful I never had the chance to actually eat my dinner, or I would have lost it. Is that the silver lining? Has my life gotten so crazy that the silver lining is that I didn't actually puke while cleaning up my 3-year-old's "poop art" because there was nothing in my stomach due to the fact that I was too busy to eat dinner?!

At the end of the day, it's amazing how quick I am to forget the poop on the walls when Eden open's her little eyes, just as she's about to fall asleep, and says "I love you, Mommy"...then closes them again, wraps her little arm around my neck, and drifts into dreamland.


good things...

1. jumbo size Clorox wipes
2. silver linings
3. bedtime cuddles